A year ago i was a happy little boy... i had everything in the world. Though i didn't realise it at that time.

Seeing my parents around everyday wasn't anything special, u know. Just like what probably most of u guys feel when u're home.

Something so negligible and expendable to u guys, has now become what i could never ask for.

It's almost exactly a year since dad left us. We've got accustomed to life without him... But the family is so incomplete. It always feels like there's something missing.

少了父母的孩子，快乐也会少了一半。

I was thinking about the times in the past when i quarreled with him... He used to be so rigid and temperamental, especially in his later years when his health was turning worse.

I could be at cold war with him for weeks, and i ran away from home a few times to get away from the family. And i used to hate him so much, there were so much anger and hatred in me. I hated the way he would try to control my behaviour and whereabouts.

In the later years when he could no longer go to work, i often see him getting up in the middle of the night, sitting in the living room alone by himself, looking deep in thought. He was always looked so lethargic, and his feet had always felt so unbearably cold.

There was a time when he told me, "I feel so sian... So bored." I didn't know what to do, or what he meant. When he was at home i hardly spoke to him, sometimes even locking myself up in the room from morning till night.

But slowly, my hatred for him began to subside. I started to accept his ways of trying to fulfill his job as my dad. I understood he just wanted to see me well, and not grow up to be somebody useless.

There wasn't enough time. There was never enough time, u see. It's always too late. I wanted to change my attitude, i was beginning to communicate with him. And one evening he just slipped into a coma and never got up again.

Over the year i've learnt alot... What a heartbreak really felt like. And how to take care of myself and mom. Most importantly, i've realised what it truly means to cherish a person.

I finally understood what he meant when he told me he was bored. He just wanted my company. When i spent time with him, i could see him smile and chat happily unlike any other moments.

I failed to do it and i can never have another chance. I'm sorry dad, i really miss u alot.

Do u understand what regret really feels like? It doesn't feel too comfortable, because it's a feeling that drains away ur energy, it makes u uneasy to breath, and u cannot shirk it off.

...



Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear my mama cryin' for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm prayin' for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don't do it usually
But dear Lord, she's dyin' to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream...